The Nick Abbot Habit

00:02 This is a global production. Oh, it's a good one for you this week. A man in Uxbridge was unsatisfied with his MP. A huge celestial event took place. The biggest show in the world was about to start. And we heard that the moon was wobbling. 00:20 Hey, about that moon wobble, by the way. A moon wobble will contribute to an increase in severe flooding in the mid-2030s, NASA has warned. 00:29 The moon's orbit, which affects the Earth's tides, has a natural wobble every 18.6 years that causes extremely high and low tides. In a new study published by Nature Climate Change, NASA's Sea Level Change Science team calculated that the next wobble in the mid-2030s will amplify rising sea levels caused by climate change. 00:53 Pfft, rubbish. 00:59 You see how easy it is to dismiss science? What do they know? NASA. 01:04 Wobble? Never heard anything so silly in all my life. The moon doesn't wobble. 01:10 What do they mean, wobble? Wobble in what way? How does it wobble? I mean, surely if it was going to wobble, it would wobble all the time. 01:19 Otherwise, what makes it wobble 18.6 years... 01:24 Once every 18.6 years. Why does it wobble then? I mean, what is it, like, saving itself up for a special occasion? 01:33 Timothy texts, Nick, don't worry, now Branson has launched his spaceship. He can take us all to another planet now that we've ruined this one. 01:41 Yeah. 01:43 Yeah, what was that? What is that about? Billionaires and their space race. 01:49 For crying out loud. 01:52 People are starving to death down here and they're splurging money on boys' toys. 01:59 Talk about not reading the room. We've got the biggest recession in history. We've got millions of people who've been displaced by war and famine and all of the rest of it. And they're entertaining themselves with shiny gadgets. 02:16 Plus, it was like 15 minutes long from start to finish. It got about 30 seconds of floating and that was it. 02:27 And they were talking about it like it was, you know, the event of the millennium. 02:32 Remember where you were. They actually said those words. Remember where you were when you saw this magnificent event. 02:40 Not really. 02:44 Looked like four people in a plane to me. 02:50 Julia texts, with hot weather, everyone will be saying this weekend, hot enough for you? 02:56 Well, I've already said, gosh, it's hot. I'm saying it now to save time later. 03:03 I'm going to be complaining about the heat. Whinging and whining and moaning. After having complained about a lack of heat for the last seven months. Stop whining. I won't. 03:16 Um... Ranjit Oldbury. Hiya, mate. 03:20 Yes, Ranjit. How are ya? Great, mate. 03:23 Yes, super. Thanks for asking. 03:25 Yeah. They always come to me in my chipper, yeah. What? It's hot out there. I work in a chip shop, yeah? 03:31 A chip shop? 03:32 Yeah. Right. So they all come in and say, it's hot out there, but it's even hotter in there. Yeah, I would imagine, yeah. 03:40 Are you frying tonight? Okay. 03:45 You know, you're getting more and more like Boris Johnson, yeah? 03:48 What? 03:49 Because at the start, he was talking about climate change. 03:54 Yes. 03:54 And you've twisted the subject so many times. I've had to keep track... You know, the last caller you had, he said he's a vegetarian. He didn't say he's a vegetarian. He doesn't eat meat, but he has... 04:07 He doesn't eat meat, apart from all that meat that he eats. 04:11 That was just hilarious. I think he's really killed that five minutes of your show, just talking to that fella. Mate, if he's listening still, I find him hilarious. 04:22 Okay, two things that really annoy me, Nick. A couple of three things, yes. Two things, basically. 04:29 One is how the government masks average wages, yeah? They say to people the average wage in this country is £30,000. 04:40 There's three different types of average, as any fool know. And they use the average that is most flattering to their argument. 04:50 That's it, right? So if you get someone like a professional footballer who's on £500,000 a week... 04:57 And then you're on, say, £2,000 a week. 05:01 For the benefit of saving time, I'll summarise it for you. If Bill Gates is in a pub and you walk into the pub, then you take the average by adding up the amount that people earn and then dividing it by the number of people in that pub. Everyone in that pub's a billionaire. 05:14 There you are. So these people must eat, right? And you, as someone in the media who's prominent, yeah? 05:20 Yeah. 05:21 We mean you should start a campaign which says, right, we want you to divide into buckets how much of the population in Great Britain earns under £20,000. 05:32 I'd say the majority. 05:34 Yes, that's it. 05:35 They say that the average wage in this country is £25,000, but that's because there's a small number of people who earn a vast amount which pulls the average up. That's not what most people's experience is. 05:48 Yeah, and then you've been talking about cows, so that's the biggest BS I've ever heard. And the other one is, when we talk about climate change, I agree there's climate change, but the way they should do stuff is to work out the carbon footprint of the products that we use, yeah? Yeah. So if we're going to, I mean, I used to be a lorry driver before, so I would pick up 30 tonnes of cardboard, which gets shipped online, to China to be reprocessed into paper and then brought back here. So we're dumping all the carbon emissions to China because it's all about the money. 06:23 Exactly right. Yeah, we pretend that we're doing our bit to protect the environment and to reduce the amount of carbon in the air. But what we're actually doing is just chucking all of our stuff abroad and kidding on like it doesn't exist anymore. 06:37 And do you know that big cities trade the amount of tonnage that they can put into landfill and all that kind of stuff with their waste transfer notices with other cities who've got less? 06:51 Right. All of that trading stuff and all of that nonsense is just people pretending to do something as opposed to actually doing something. What people don't want to do is change their lifestyle in any way, shape or form. And politicians know that and they play on that. 07:06 They try to kid on that they're doing something to make us feel good about ourselves. Oh, we put a can in a recycling bin. Yeah, that'll save the planet. 07:20 They take that recycling and throw it in a big hole in the ground, or they put it on a ship and send it to China. 07:25 China. 07:27 What are we doing? Carol, we're doing a radio show, but it does remind me that I do a podcast with Carol McGiffin. We were supposed to tape today, but we could not get the technology working because of the storms, we think. 07:39 I mean, she's in France at the moment and her phone's out and the internet's out and all of that. I mean, they're underwater. It's been pouring on her. So we're going to do our taping on Sunday. Hopefully they'll have fixed France by then. 07:56 So if you want us to solve a problem, if you've got an issue, send it to us and we will do our best to maintain a straight face and solve it for you. 08:06 No promises. 08:08 If you've got something you want solved, it's nickandcarol at global.com. That's N-I-C-K-A-N-D-C-A-R-O-L at global.com. And prepare to be completely satisfied. 08:21 Yeah. 08:25 The podcast, by the way, is called What's Your Problem with Nick and Carol, which you can get here, there and everywhere, baby. Try Global Player. 08:33 Have you got Global Player? Squirt it up your device and thank me late. No, wait. 08:39 You can thank me now. 08:41 I've changed my mind. 08:44 Yeah, global play. You should have it on your phone or tablet or whatever. And by that method, you can listen to all the stations that we do and all the podcasts and such. It'll keep you entertained from now until the end of time, which, you know, should be any moment. 09:00 What's your problem with Nick and Carol? Ask for it by name on an internet near you. 09:05 Oh, right. Yeah. 09:07 Let's have a call in... Uh... Uxbridge. Jonathan. 09:13 Hi, Nick. I want to know why. And basically, this is all stems from the, you probably heard the announcement tonight about the government now putting, well, France still on the amber list, but you're now into quarantine yet again. They're not changing that on Monday. 09:30 Why, if you're forced into quarantine after returning from an amber country, have you got to take two COVID tests? Because I don't see the point, because all it does is basically just take people out of quarantine who are supposed to be isolating, get them onto public transport, down to a testing centre, just potentially... just infecting a load of other people. It just doesn't make any sense. And it's 160-odd quid as well. It's just a scam. 09:53 Well, some people are spending way more than that. It's absolutely amazing how much some people are being forced to spend on this. It's almost as though the government has got no idea what it's doing. 10:06 Yeah, it's funny you could say that. Basically, I mean, I was kind of all in favour of, kind of, and supported this government. But I can't understand. I mean, France have got ten times fewer cases than us, yet we're putting restrictions back on them. And I've had two jabs, so, you know, I was all set to go. I'm actually going to France in a week and a half time. And obviously that's all kind of up in the air now. 10:30 Yeah, take a boat. 10:32 But, well, you say that, it's probably, I mean, it's probably an easy option at this point. But it's like, how can you run a country where the goalposts are constantly changing? I mean, it's just, you know, international travel has become impossible. And I get, you know, we need to protect the borders and everything else. But to change things on a whim within days of the kind of the enforcement coming into effect just screws everybody. It costs a huge amount of money. You said that with the test and that. You fly it, hotels. Yeah. It's just a nightmare. 11:02 It just doesn't make any sense, apart from anything else. They'll say, oh, well, this area now is a very high COVID infection rate, and so we must insist that you get back here by a certain date, after which we will test you and isolate you and et cetera and so on. And so everybody piles into planes to come back before that date, and then they just wander through Heathrow unimpeded. 11:29 because presumably the virus won't attach itself to anybody before the government-mandated date. 11:36 Well, it feels like Heathrow, I mean, all the international airports are basically just breathing grounds for this, because anybody that's coming in that's got it is going to pass it on to somebody in a passport queue. And at the end of that point, you know, you're supposed to quarantine, but then, you know, if you've had the two jabs and you can move around, yes, you can pass it on. But what is the point of going home, quarantining for 10 days, but still having to take two tests? I don't see the logic, and I can only see that it's a money-making thing, because it's costing absolute fortune. 12:04 Well, at this point, I would not be surprised. But, Jonathan, you live in Uxbridge. Why on earth would anybody want to leave somewhere as beautiful as Uxbridge to go to France? 12:16 Do you know who my MP is? You won't believe it. No, I do know. 12:19 Yeah, he's never been there, I bet. I bet he wouldn't be able to find Uxbridge with a sat-nav. 12:24 Well, I did, in fact, funnily enough, I did write to him on Wednesday, because basically, to top it all, I've had that COVID shield, the Yastra Zeneca, you know, the one that was sort of made in India, and there was this big scare that the EU wouldn't recognise it. So I had all that, and I wrote something about that, and then, blow me, comes 48 hours later, this hits. Hmm. 12:45 Yeah, I think he's lost the plot, I'll be honest. I think he's going to lose the country if he's not careful. He's got to be very careful that he keeps the support that he's been relying on because I can see him just losing it. 12:58 Um, well... He can't fool all of the people all of the time, but he's fooling a significant number of the people, just enough to maintain a stonking majority by getting a minority of the votes. That's the screwed-up nature of the democratic system in this country. But thanks a lot, Jonathan. 13:18 Leaving the beautiful environs of Uxbridge to go to Icky, France. Can you believe that? 13:26 I spent four years in Uxbridge... 13:29 So I know exactly what it's like. 13:34 Nobody can tell me about Uxbridge. 13:37 Damien emails, so what do you reckon to the end of lockdown? Are we heading for another disaster? Worrying times ahead. Never mind the weather, but it must be climate change. We can see the effects of this on the planet, but Bodger and his cronies will still go on their exotic holidays and guaranteed the countries they're going to will be on the green list. 13:56 Good old Bodger, what ding-a-lings, says Damien, who spelt their wrong every time he wrote it. 14:05 Never mind. 14:07 Better luck next time. 14:09 There was a lot in there. What do you think about the end of lockdown? I think that it won't be the end of lockdown. I think it will be a short pause and we'll be back in it shortly. Damn it! 14:22 and the weather is climate change. What's alarming about climate change is that the things that they predicted might happen in 10, 20, 30 years, they seem to be happening now. 14:34 You know, there'll be a point at which, I mean, assuming that you believe in climate change, and that you're not one of those people that just thinks it's weather because you read it on Facebook, at some point, it won't be gradual anymore. It will be like turning a light switch off. 14:50 It'll happen really quickly and it'll be like one day to the next. 14:56 It seems to be happening right now, doesn't it? I mean, France and Germany and Luxembourg and Belgium are, they're sinking. 15:05 And America on the West Coast, it's like, it's been 111 degrees for day after day after day. They ain't got no rain. They're running out of water. 15:16 We've got tornadoes in towns in this country. There was a reign of biblical proportions, it was described at the start of this week. Simon Cowell's basement flooded. Oh, no! So it seems to be happening right now, doesn't it? 15:34 But we're just going along, oh, no, everything will be OK. Don't worry about a thing. 15:39 If it does actually happen like scientists say it will, then it's going to make the COVID nightmare seem like a picnic. 15:49 Daniel says, I read on the news today that the Amazon rainforest is expelling more carbon dioxide than it's absorbing now. The cracks are really starting to show. Yeah, exactly. I didn't know anything about this either. I didn't know about the moon wobbling or the Amazon rainforest expelling more carbon dioxide than it absorbs. 16:07 This is a very educational show, isn't it? No. The Amazon rainforest is now emitting more carbon dioxide than it's able to absorb, scientists have confirmed. 16:17 The emissions amount to a billion tonnes of carbon dioxide a year. Wow. 16:24 How do they know how much it weighs? I mean, it doesn't weigh anything, does it? 16:29 Isn't it in the air? Air weighs nothing. And that's a fact. 16:34 The giant forest had previously been a carbon sink, absorbing the emissions, driving the climate crisis, but is now causing its acceleration. 16:43 Huh. Forests used to be our friend. 16:47 Most of the emissions are caused by fires. 16:50 deliberately set to clear land for beef and soy. That's us that is doing that. But even without these fires, hotter temperatures and droughts mean that the southeastern Amazon has become a source of CO2 rather than a sink. 17:05 Growing trees and plants have taken up about a quarter of all fossil fuel emissions since 1960, with the Amazon playing a major role as the largest tropical forest. Losing the Amazon's power to capture CO2 is a stark warning that slashing emissions from fossil fuels is more urgent than ever, scientists said. 17:28 Is anybody paying attention? No. 17:33 And all that stuff that we're doing is... I mean, Bodger and his chums, they just seem to keep talking about scientific breakthroughs that haven't happened yet. 17:43 Oh, don't worry about any of that. Science will fix it. 17:47 We'll build machines that will scrub the carbon dioxide from the air and make it into briquettes that you can use to build a wall. By that method, we'll save the planet. 18:01 Yeah, no, we won't. Stop pretending that science is going to solve it for you. We've got to solve it ourselves right now. 18:09 And people say, oh, well, we are carbon zero because we planted some trees. 18:18 They're saplings. They ain't taking no CO2 out of the air and they won't be doing so for another 30 years. And then they'll get cut down or they'll burst into flames because of lightning strikes. 18:29 They'll get cut down and we'll use them to barbecue our beef on. 18:35 So planting a tree isn't going to make no difference for decades. 18:42 And even after that point, it's going to release its CO2 into the air unless we, by some massively energy-intensive method, sequester it in the earth. 18:58 We ain't going to do nothing. We're going to sit here and twiddle our thumbs and pretend we're going to do something while the waters rise all around us. 19:05 When it's lapping against the bottom of our nostrils, then we'll think, oh, well, okay, let's do something now. Too late. 19:15 Richie texts, Nick, seaweed is delicious and nutritious. Try some spicy Korean tofu soup with seaweed. It's amazing, says Richie. It's amazing. What? 19:29 Yeah, it's a no from me. 19:32 Eddie texts, Nick, cows produce far less methane when garlic is added to their feed. 19:38 Oh, the smell of their breath, though. 19:41 It's a good job the, you know, the udders are at the other end. 19:47 They're at the other end. 19:49 They are actually, that is a fact, they are at the other end. 19:54 That's where you'll find the udders, at the other end. 19:58 Jack tweets, I'm driving home in a hatchback, so I already have my head out of the window. He's talking about the Perseids. 20:09 News story, one of the most, and dramatic is in inverted commas, so I don't know whether that's them being sarcastic. 20:17 One of the most dramatic meteor showers of the year is, starting tonight, offering stargazers in the Northern Hemisphere, which is right here, A chance to see dozens of very fast and bright meteors. Yowza. If you find yourself struggling to sleep in this weekend's heat, then just look up into the sky and you'll be off in about ten seconds flat. Boring! Meteor showers are just so dull. I mean, nothing ever happens. 20:47 You'd be staring and staring and staring and staring and then you'll look away at your watch thinking, blimey, I've been there for half an hour and somebody's like, oh, there's one... 20:56 You look up and it's gone. 20:58 It's just a tiny little white light in the sky. And it's gone. Big deal. 21:07 Is that spoiling it for you? Yes. A little bit, yeah. 21:10 It's magical. 21:15 Mikey emails, what ho, Nick, is this heatwave the result of Brexit? 21:20 Absolutely it is the result of Brexit. Brexit's going great. No doubt, Nige. 21:27 Let's have a call in Hackney. Hello, Dave. 21:31 Hi, Nick. How are you doing? Good, thanks. 21:34 What's happening? 21:35 Oh, you know, just doing a radio show. Nothing much. All right. Are you getting paid? Just hanging out. 21:41 Cool. 21:42 Are you getting paid? 21:43 Are you? 21:44 Yeah. How much? 21:46 There's quite a lot more than you. A lot? How much? 21:49 A lot more than you. 21:51 A lot more than me. 21:54 How much more than me? 21:55 Factors more than you. 21:56 Quantum levels. 21:58 Wow. 21:58 That sounds fantastic, Dave. 22:00 Yeah. Is that it? 22:04 No. A listener with material. Oh, no. Really bad material as well. Needs a bit of work there, Dave. 22:13 Caroline says one of the few good things to come out of the pandemic is the reduction of flights and carbon emissions. 22:19 Well, I don't know if I'm imagining this but was the sky a bit bluer last year when we were all stuck indoors? I think it probably was. I mean, we didn't have those contrails. Of course, contrails are an evil plot by the world's liberal media elite to control people's brains by squirting them with, you know, juice. 22:45 I've got no idea. 22:47 I think the contrails spread out and there's this haze. 22:56 A crazy, lazy, hazy day of summer. And the skies were a little bit bluer last year, weren't they? Or am I imagining it? 23:04 Just my imagination running away with me? 23:08 Mr H says, Nick, regarding climate change, is this something we could solve with a wristband? 23:13 Yes. 23:15 Yeah, that's right. 23:18 Maybe Hazza and Sparkles have got one of their climate change wristbands. 23:23 He wears so many wristbands. I'm amazed he can get his hand off the floor. 23:29 Haven't heard about Hazza and Sparkles for at least the last three minutes. 23:35 So let me just assume that the public's opinion remains the same. Boo! 23:42 Let's have... Yorkshire. Mike. 23:48 Hi, Nick. Just a couple of bits that since I ran up have come up. You're right, the sky was bluer because after 9-11 in America, they banned all flights. Well, not all flights. 24:04 No, after 9-11, in America, America banned all flights. Not all flights. Oh, well, I'm mistaken. 24:12 The Saudi royal family managed to get on their planes. Absolutely. Yeah, they scarpered quick sticks. 24:20 But they proved that the skies over America were bluer because of the aviation ban in USA after 1911. So you're right, the skies were bluer. The other bit about the interesting thing that your last caller, I think, not your last caller, the caller before that, said about France and getting moved. On the scale, the reason they moved it is because the beta variant has had an uptick in France. 24:48 So within hours, they've put France on the list. 24:52 Right. 24:53 But why didn't they put India on the list when the Johnson variant... Well, we know full well why they didn't put India on the list, because Bodger was trying to get a huge and tremendous trade deal out of India, so he was sucking up to the Indian PM. So it proves they do know what to do. They just choose when to do it. Yeah. 25:12 And then they tell us that they're following the science. BUZZER 25:16 Which was my next point that I was coming on to because I was wondering whether this is Bodger's last big gamble and Freedom Day on Monday and let it rip. 25:26 Against all the scientific advice, and to be fair to him, he didn't ever say during the briefing, we're following the scientific advice, and which he was paddling as fast as he could off it. 25:38 No, they have said that. They have said that we're following the scientific advice. The scientific advice is specifically that if we open now, then it will be in the summer when it's safer to do so and the schools are out, and we're not all stuck indoors. That is... That's what they're saying. They are saying that they're following the scientific advice. Meanwhile, the scientists are going, no, don't do it, it ain't worth it. 26:02 But they're following it selectively. They're saying the science advises that it's better to do it now than October, November. But they didn't say that the science said it was a good idea to do it now. 26:14 Well, science, if you look hard enough, can also tell you that it's best when you eat to put the food up your nose. 26:24 I'm sure you could get a scientist to tell you that. 26:27 And then that you would be following the science if you, you know, stuck your food up your nose. 26:34 It is the position of this radio station, by the way, that all food should be entered into the body through the nasal cavities. 26:41 As opposed to fireworks or flares. 26:44 Yeah, if you have any fireworks, then light them and then clench them between the buttocks... 26:50 while sticking your food up your nose. That is the official position of LBC. 26:56 Can I just have one more, Nick? 26:57 Yes. 26:59 My first grandchild, Grace, was born on Tuesday, and I hope the world survives to make a good life for her. 27:07 Happy birthday. 27:09 Literally. 27:11 John texts, Hi Nick, we have been basking in sun, only 25 degrees sitting outside, it's been lovely. 27:20 Does that make sense? Maybe it means we've been basking in sun only. 27:25 25 degrees, sitting outside, it's been lovely. But he doesn't tell us where he's been. 27:30 And I don't care. Thanks a lot, John. We don't wish to know that. 27:34 Philip says, July was so hot, not, I've been having to wear a jumper and put my heating on at night. 27:41 Yeah, so have I. I haven't... This is like the first day I've actually taken my jumpers off. 27:50 And that's jumpers plural. 27:53 Which is very, very unsatisfying. I am not completely satisfied with this summer. 28:01 He says, in a hundred years' time, we can live somewhere warm, like Titan. That's a moon of Saturn, which I bet you didn't know, says Philip. 28:10 Any fool knows that. 28:13 It's what they name the boat after, Titanic. 28:17 Ick being the Latin suffix for boat. Did you know that? 28:22 It's a fact. 28:25 James says COVID is going to end at 8, 10am and 0 seconds on Monday morning. Well, I'll know when that is. 28:34 Let's have Regent's Park. Vance. 28:39 Hi, Nick. I'm enjoying your program as usual. Thanks. Thanks, Vance. 28:45 Okay. 28:46 I've got a really serious point to make. When Wendy called you about half an hour ago, she used the words free-range organic, talking about eggs. And I'm just thinking, you know, if Bodger is listening, he'll probably steal those words and talk about free-range organic levelling up. 29:08 And so we've given him a new soundbite. 29:11 Do you realise that? 29:12 Oh, my God. 29:15 Can you imagine what he'll do with that as a soundbite? People will love him for it. He'll win the next election. 29:21 Vance, stop speaking. 29:25 Another listener with material. Oh, no. Even worse than the last one. Thanks a lot, mate. 0345 6060 973. 29:34 You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm ashamed of yourself. 29:37 Ricky tweets. Hey, Ricky, you're so fine. You're so fine. You're so fine. You'll blow my mind, eh, Ricky? 29:42 He says, to paraphrase a gag by the late, great Bob Munkhouse, we all laughed when Bodger said he wanted to be Prime Minister, and I think we all know the rest of that. 0345 6060 973. Let's have Glasgow. Robert. Oh, hello, Nick. Yes, Robert. 30:03 Can you hear me? 30:04 I can. Yes, go ahead. 30:06 Hold on, I'll take you off to the show. Yeah. 30:10 Oh, Nick, because Warren, by the way, I'm really enjoying the show, as usual. So what I wanted to ask you was, what do you think's going to happen on Freedom Monday in London and surrounding districts? 30:28 Nothing much on Monday or Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or probably in the next week after that. But then the following week, then things are really going to start taking off. 30:41 I'm looking forward to the carnage. I know that sounds pretty bad, but I can just see it leading to another lockdown in England. 30:52 I'm sure it will. I'm absolutely convinced of that. If it doesn't, I'll be stunned. 31:00 And I'm sure... I don't know... 31:03 Boris Johnson's thought this through or whatever. You're funny. 31:09 No, on a serious note, do you think he's doing this so he'll lead to another lockdown and he'll have everyone under control? 31:19 I think keeping us permanently off-kilter and out of sorts seems to be the plan. If it's not the plan, then that seems to be the end result of everything that they're doing. 31:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your point's well taken. 31:36 That's really all I've got to say. 31:37 OK, well, it sounds like you said it. Is it raining there, Robert? 31:41 No, it's not raining. It's a very pleasant night. Yeah. 31:46 Sorry, Nick, it's a very pleasant night. I've got the windows open and I'd say it's about six degrees, yeah? Six? Six? Six? Six degrees. Don't you mean 60? No, no. 32:01 Six degrees, I'm a Celsius man. Six degrees Celsius. I don't know what that is. 32:08 Well, it's close to freezing, isn't it? 32:10 No, it's not. Six? 32:12 Well, it is. If zero is freezing, six is very close to freezing. Do you want me to tell you what the weather is like where you are? 32:21 No, no, not at all. Well, I'm going to, whether you like it or not. It's, at the moment, you're at 15 degrees. 32:29 Well, Fahrenheit or centigrade? That's... It can't be Fahrenheit. It can't be centigrade. 32:34 It's centigrade. It's centigrade. If it was 15 Fahrenheit, you would not have the window open, believe me. 32:43 OK, then, OK. Your point's well-taking. I'm getting a bit sleepy and a bit dopey. 32:49 OK, then. OK, no, thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you. He's getting a bit sleepy and dopey. 32:57 at least two of the dwarfs. 33:00 Linda says, Formula One won't be the same when they're forced to use electric cars. Maybe they'll have to use revving sounds and smoke effects on each car to get the right atmosphere. 33:11 Well, that's a good point. 33:14 Nobody can actually enjoy the noise of those cars. I mean, you just can't. They're awful. 33:20 I mean, so the kids that bring those luminous spaceships over from Saudi Arabia and all the sandy countries and they bomb up and down Northumberland Avenue and they crawl around Harrods, revving their engines like morons. Those things actually, they don't sound that bad. I mean, it sounds like somebody pulling the earth apart. 33:49 What's the point of having one of those cars? I mean, apart from to impress other teenagers, what's the point in having one of those cars? OK, so you can do 0 to 60 in three seconds, but when will you ever use that? None of those people use it at the track. I mean, you wouldn't want to risk getting your quarter of a million pound car bent by bombing it around a track. Of course you're not. 34:10 Plus, you'd have to buy a new set of tyres every time you do it. Not that that would bother them one iota. 34:18 But those things, they sound OK, I suppose. 34:22 But Formula One... It's just painful to listen to. 34:27 I just don't get it as a... Well, it's not a sport, obviously, because the car's doing all the work. 34:35 I just don't see it as something to look at. What are you... You're just waiting for the crash. Is that it? 34:44 They very rarely crash anymore. 34:46 I know it's spectacular when they do, but they very rarely do. Around and around and around they go, and nothing ever happens. The person who starts at the front ends at the front. 34:59 It's the car. It's not the driver. It's the car. They should just have mechanics go around, determine which is the best car, and then just award them the prize. You don't have to do the race. 35:10 Hey, the Olympics are starting soon. Isn't that exciting? No. There's not going to be any audience. There's not going to be crowds there. I mean, I suppose there'll be some people there, but it will sound a bit odd. Just their coaches clapping. Come on, Timmy. You know, that kind of thing. 35:30 Are they doing tennis? Tennis should not be an Olympic sport. I think you'll find that that is correct. Correct. And neither should football, by the way. 35:39 No team sports at all. 35:44 No basketball, hockey, none of that stuff. 35:50 The Olympics should all be about fighting. It should be fighting skills. It's like gladiatorial combat. That's what it should be about. It should be about running, because you've got to run away sometimes. You've got to swim away sometimes. You've got to chuck spears and stones and discs and, you know, stuff like that. You've got to fight. Of course, fighting in all of its different guises. Absolutely. 36:13 Horse riding. OK, then. Yes, sure. Why not? 36:16 That's about, you know, killing people, riding on horses. Horses! 36:28 But apart from that, there's just too many sports at the Olympics. 36:33 I mean, swimming alone is about 36,000 different events, all of which look exactly the blooming same. 36:42 It's not necessary. 36:44 It's just got too big. But it's all about the money, honey. 36:49 But there ain't going to be no money no more. Not for Japan. They're not going to get any ticket sales and they're not going to get any tourists there either. 36:58 God, Japan's going to be broke by the time it's over. 37:02 And I think the Olympic Committee, they get all the money from the TV, don't they? I don't think Japan gets a bean. I don't know whether that's true, but I think it costs about a billion dollars to put on the Olympics. 37:15 And the host country, I don't think that's where they get their money. The host country gets their money from selling tickets. And they ain't got no tickets to sell. And it costs, I don't know exactly how much, so I'll just pull a number out of space. £64 billion put on the Olympics. Can you believe that? Yes. Yeah, that actually is believable. 37:36 When does it start, by the way? Talk about a summer of sport. 37:42 The festival of drug-taking is about to begin. I mean, they'll be up to their eyeballs in all sorts of potions and secretions, all of which have been carefully formulated to fool the invigilator. 38:03 If it looks too good to be true, if in a 100 metre dash, for instance, the person that wins is 100 metres ahead of the person who comes second, then that's probably got something to do with drugs. A little bit. Want to score some pot? But not that drug. That's not performance enhancing. And on that undisputable fact, that's it. 38:26 Don't forget the other podcasts that I do. There's the one that I do with Carol McGiffin called What's Your Problem with Nick and Carol? There is also the Whole Show podcast from my Friday and Saturday night shows. And now, brand new, the Whole Show Plus for... extra show material that i could not squeeze into the friday and saturday night shows and an exclusive newsletter weekly update you can sign up for that at nick abbott the whole show plus dot com or just stick that into your search engine and everything will become clear nick abbott the whole show plus brand new material starting this week thank you for your attention to this matter And I'll be back on the radio Friday, Saturday, Sunday nights at 10. And until then, I'll be seeing you. Bye-bye. 39:13 This has been a global production.